Today is one of those days. I’m feeling apathetic, disconnected, like I’m floating just outside my body. My mind is spinning with worst-case scenarios, what-ifs, and a heavy dose of guilt. On days like this, when I’m struggling, I usually answer honestly when someone asks, “How are you?” or “How’s it going?” (Typically, I go with, “It’s tough for me today.”)
And what do I get in return? “You’ve got this!” “You look great!” “It’ll be okay!”
And… cue the rage. Yes, I KNOW everything will be okay. I get it, “This too shall pass.” But come on. Can’t I be allowed to express how I’m really feeling and not be met with forced optimism? It’s like there’s this unspoken rule that as a mom, I must be positive, energetic, and optimistic at all times.
Honestly, the toxic positivity surrounding motherhood and pregnancy? It’s exhausting. (And let’s be real, this applies to any caregiver, not just moms.) We’re constantly bombarded by social media posts, blogs, vlogs, and Pinterest-perfect pictures of caregivers somehow thriving through every situation. Calm, collected, glowing – with their lives meticulously organized. And then there’s the classic: “You’re so lucky!” or “What a great life you have!”
Yes, I’m incredibly lucky. I have a healthy, growing family and a home filled with love. I’m thankful for my circumstances. But does that mean I can’t have off days? Does it mean I’m not allowed to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or – dare I say – negative sometimes?
Let’s get real for a moment. Motherhood (and caregiving in general) is a beautiful, chaotic, life-altering transition. It’s a mix of self-identity crisis, self-discovery, and juggling new responsibilities. Some days, it’s tough. Other days, it’s amazing.
To all the moms, dads, grandparents, caregivers – whoever you are – I see you. I feel you. If you’re having one of those days, you’re not alone. It’s okay to not be okay.